Do you sometimes dwell on the things you would like to change about your body? I believe that no matter what age we are, there is always something we want to change — however insignificant it is.
I’m shocked and envious when I hear another female proclaim she’s thrilled with her body. I pivot between being happy and then other days when I want to change several things.
This morning I was searching for popular blog posts on the web when I came across the website. The headline read “Your body should be the *least* exciting thing about you. Then I scroll down to another quote which read “People think body confidence is about liking the way we look, but it’s actually about enjoying ourselves no matter *how* we look. WOW, I was taken back by these two compelling quotes. Then I started to remember my weight loss journey, and how badly I felt about my own body changing in the blink of an eye.
I don’t ever recall a time I was thrilled with my body, and even when I was dieting very hard to become ready for physique shows, there was always something that would cause that inner self-critic to come up. I could not believe it at the time — and even now, I wonder why I did this to myself. I resembled someone with an ideal physique, and I was in the best shape of my life — yet I was not happy within me. This was, of course, more of an inner conflict than an external one. Given the fact I was showing my physique off to thousands of people, I felt that I would be scrutinised for how I looked. I believe I deliberately did that in order to validate my flaws and then have more of a reason not to be happy with how far I’d come.
This is partly the reason why I stopped competing, as it’s a mental and physical roadblock. Most people break down after so many years of this constant influx of emotions and scrutiny regarding their bodies. I know I was never thrilled with the package I presented, and I don’t believe I ever sat down to ask myself why I felt the need to put myself through this. Proving to yourself that you have discipline, persistence and energy is one thing, but being on the firing line based on a strangers personal opinions (which don’t matter anyway) is another.
I can’t lie now and tell you I’m thrilled within my body today, as I wrote this post — but what I can admit is that when the quotes showed themselves to me in a website, I stood back and knew I didn’t like the way I look, and it took those words to shake me up and ask the question why. Body image issues are so prevalent amongst women, no matter how old or young they are. And the questions remain — what is this insecurity doing to mould our reality? The sad thing is, we are not conscious of it, and the results are mediocre outcomes in our personal, professional and love lives.
Then the thought lingers — what will it take to overcome these debilitating and powerless assumptions about ourselves? What’s it stopping us from having in our lives that we long for?